It has been a truly splendid summer. It was just the right amount of everything (almost). I went on a mission trip to Mexico for a week. I had several parties and many get-togethers with people I love. I went to Solvang for a day. I worked enough to make money but not so much that I had no summer. I enjoyed having time to be creative and have fun. I enjoyed the lack of some things and the presence of others.
The Big Summer Oh-Nine wasn't all fun and pleasure. I was sad at parts, people were sick, people were sad, and my main man, Hunter, passed away into kitty heaven. But all in all, I'd say this summer was pretty much everything a summer should be.
So here we are, at the beginning of yet another school year, and the freedom of summer is over. During the Season of Sun everything seems to work so much smoother. People are available when you want them, people are more flexible and able to do a lot of what they want to do. Then when fall hits, even the people who's jobs aren't seasonal fall into a sort of schedule or pattern in which everything is all of a sudden much more difficult. Perhaps it's just me, but the way our lives are in the summer kind of seem like the lives we're meant to have. It doesn't seem natural that we are bossed around by our schedules and the responsibilities we have at work or school. Of course, we all have responsibilities. Outside of summer, however, they seem to rule our lives. In summer people have time for people. It's nice.
Having said all that, I don't really like summer. That is to say, I enjoy the summer in that it is a season of holiday and freedom. Other than that, I do not enjoy HEAT. Nor am I a big fan of water-things. Swimming, the beach, pools, etc. Now, I enjoy the atmosphere of the beach. It's a beautiful place and great for bonfires. You just won't see me dip any more than my feet in the foam of washed-up waves. The Sun and I have a polite friendship. I think he's nice enough. He burns me. In fact, I usually get a sort of heat-exhaustion from sun exposure. Headaches from the sun. That sort of thing.
But what I LOVE is gloomy days, cool breezes, clouds, and FALL. I like fog, being chilly, dead leaves, and the harvest! I get an inner sense of joy when apple-y things start to appear, like apple cider and caramel apples. There's something magical about it being cool enough to wear a sweater. I sorely miss my days back in Indiana where acres of trees would put on a leaf-show and change colors in blocky patches of yellow, orange, and red. Gorgeous. Maybe Fall is called the Indian Summer because the Native Americans could appreciate the majesty of Autumn just as Californians play up the grandeur of summer.
For me, I start to get really excited when the first day of school hits, not because I enjoy school tremendously (believe me--not the case!), but because as soon as school hits, Fall jumps out from behind the corner. The season of joy for me arches like a rainbow starting with the beginning of Fall and reaching over Christmas and ending somewhere after New Years Day. It's my favorite time of year. Not just Christmastime, like some sing about, but more of a Fall-Thanksgiving-Christmas-Winter-time. Love it!
I hope things at school start to work out for me, and I am able to work enough. When things fall into place and settle down, I will happily settle myself into the season like a kid landing backwards into a pile of leaves, and just stay there, looking up at the clouds passing by through the remaining leaves above, and breathe in the warm, crisp smells and exhale my woes.
i love you. you're so seriously optimistic i can't but want to believe you sometimes.
ReplyDeletei guess i'm damaged goods. too emotionally scarred to actually live like a normal person.
it's a thursday night and i'm home, listening to bright eyes. pathetic. i know.
It's ok. We're all messed up. I think I'm just optimistic because whats the other option? Despair? If I don't go for 'all' I'll end up slipping towards 'nothing.' As long as we have hope, we'll be ok.
ReplyDeleteLove you more.
hmm.. no. i didn't delete. just made it invisible as a saved draft. i don't usually put my own personal thoughts up there...
ReplyDelete