A friend of mine from a mission trip just got engaged. I just found out another friend of mine, from that same trip (!) is getting married in two weeks! My sister's dating a guy who is pursuing her, and thinks she's great. My friend is a Protestant and doesn't even have consider denominations when dating. My other friend is madly in love. And, I have another friend who was trying to long-distance hook me up with a guy on the east coast, who seemed like such a good catch, but East Coast said he's just not ready to meet anyone. Strike 523. Sigh. I am soo happy for my friends who are getting married. And I really feel the pain of my friends who are ready and trying and just struggling with being alone. I pray for them as I pray for myself, because I know how hard, difficult, frustrating, and lonely it is.

It's a specific type of loneliness. It's not the lack of friends, family, and loved ones. I am SO grateful for all the amazing people in my life. I am loved, and boy, do I love! But there comes a point in life where you're doing your own thang, and as everyone starts settling down, getting married, having babies (right and left), and starting careers, it is increasingly difficult to get by with just yourself. When all your friends are single, and your doing things communally, like church and school, you are a support group for each other. But as life gets busier and your schedule becomes more complex, its a lot harder to relate to everyone, especially if they have their own significant other. Its like having someone assigned to you, who you care about and they care about you. Someone who you can do fun things with and talk about minute details of your life and they care, taking it on with you. So you're not in It alone, so your life is witnessed, and what you do seems to matter. I'm lucky in that I have a single roommate with whom I can share with and relate to, and a couple dating roommates who at least aren't married, and I can share a good amount with as well. But I also have a fear of coming to depend on my friends too much to be all that to me, because it won't be long 'til they get married too. Maybe that's irrational or something, but its there.

I'm really looking forward to our Fall Seminar at church, where they will have a talk directed specifically to Singles/Unmarrieds, and it's NOT about dating and needing to get married or become a monastic. (At least, I hope not!) Guys, it gets pretty hard being single in a community that is so family oriented. Which of course, I am glad for--families are the little church. But it's hard to be at women's functions where conversations revolve about baby stuff, or family stuff, or cooking, housekeeping, husbands, anything.

Being an Eastern Orthodox Christian trying to date is that much harder. Fish in the sea? Well, the Orthodox 'sea' of men is more like a big puddle, and I'm trying to swim in it but I'm just making big splashes. As I was discussing with my single friend yesterday, its one more hoop to jump through, yet for us its the most important hoop of all, and we willingly choose to have it there. Like finding a camel to put through the eye of a needle. I guess thats why we're supposed to trust in God, through whom all things are possible.

Anyways, everything will be ok. God willing, this is just a season. I know my life will be very different a few years from now, but I don't even know what that's gonna look like. For all things good and profitable to our souls, let us pray to the Lord. Lord have mercy!